We’ve all gone through stages of not wanting to do anything at one point or another, but it’s important to recognize and understand the underlying reason why you don’t feel like doing anything. External factors like a move, a breakup, or a career change can sometimes lead to demotivation. It’s perfectly normal to feel burned out and demotivated if you’ve been mentally or emotionally drained for a long period. However, a serious sign of depression is when demotivation starts to take over your life and you cease to get anything done.
Depression is a serious mental illness that can cause sufferers to feel fatigued, hopeless, sad, or even anxious. Other symptoms that may occur include apathy and anhedonia. While the two can sometimes present simultaneously, there is an important distinction between them. While apathy can be defined as a lack of interest or concern, anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure.
Researchers are still investigating the specific mechanisms that cause depression-related motivation loss, but compelling evidence suggests dopamine levels may be involved.
Motivation is goal-directed. Motivating ourselves comes from deciding that the reward we get for completing a particular task is worth the effort, and dopamine plays a key role here. Specifically, dopamine levels affect how our brains decide that a goal is worth pursuing. People who suffer from depression have low dopamine levels, making them feel less motivated.
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So, how can you get out of this state? Well, the first step is acceptance. If you’re feeling down and demotivated, berating yourself and feeling guilty about it will not help. If anything, it will just pull you deeper into the pit. Emotions are not useless, they let us know when our needs are not being met. Feelings of demotivation, apathy and fatigue mean that it’s time to rest and heal, so give yourself the time and space to do just that. Lean into it and don’t beat yourself up about it.
Of course, that’s not to say that you should lie there and do nothing. It’s important to put a time limit on this rest period, maybe two or three days. Falling into a cycle of resting all day can be all too easy, especially if you’re struggling with your mental health. Avoid falling into a trap by setting a timeline and sticking to it.
Take this time to connect with yourself and figure out which needs aren’t being met. Can you remedy this and, if so, how? Journaling and/or meditating can be immensely helpful here. If you feel stuck, plenty of books, blogs and websites provide questions for you to answer to help get the ball rolling. A little prompting is sometimes all it takes.
Remember to be compassionate with yourself during this time. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend if they were unwell. Spoil yourself a little bit. Order your favourite meal, watch your favourite movie or draw yourself a bubble bath.
We’ve already touched on the importance of planning to get back into the world after your rest period. Next, setting attainable goals for yourself and making a specific plan is important. Don’t plan too far ahead, just focus on accomplishing one task or outing. Choose something you can look forward to. If you try and force yourself into something you don’t actually enjoy ‘because you should’, you might end up dreading or even resenting it and your chances of following through become less likely. This could be a social event with one or two people or even a whole group, or it could be something as simple as cleaning one room, grocery shopping or doing a load of laundry. The point is to pick something that leaves you with a sense of achievement. Writing down your plan or doing a visualization exercise can help it feel more ‘real’ and increase your chances of following through with it.
Finally, as hard as it is, try to find some light in your life. Set aside 5 minutes each day, preferably in the evening, to reflect on your day and single out one good thing that happened. If you want, you can stop there, but challenge yourself, if you can, to look for the ripple effect. Did anything positive come from that one good thing? How did that one good thing make you feel?
A 4-Step Plan For Getting Over The ‘I Don’t Want To Do Anything’ Feeling
Step 1. Let It Out
Your emotions need somewhere to go, and the deeper you bury them, the harder they will be on you. Express yourself, either privately or with a trusted friend or therapist. Talking to someone can help you gain some clarity because they can give you some objective advice that you might be too close to see. However, this requires intense vulnerability; if you’re not ready to go there yet, that’s ok. Journaling, drawing, painting, and even physical exercises such as dancing can help you explore your emotions. Often, our inability to define how we feel is more upsetting than the situation itself.
Step 2. Make a Plan
The premise behind behavioural activation therapy is that our behaviour can influence the way we feel. Start by identifying your values and goals. Actions that align with your values and goals will bring a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Write out some concrete steps you can take that will bring you that sense of accomplishment. Over time, your brain will start seeking out that happy, satisfied feeling.
Step 3. Count Your Blessing
Taking time out of your day to reflect with intention on the good things in your life can bring you a sense of peace, gratefulness and happiness.
Step 4. Track Your Moods
Devote a small notebook to writing about your moods. What happened before you felt this way? Do you notice any patterns? Be sure to track the good moods as well as the ‘bad’ moods. Taking the time to write down when you’re happy will help you learn how to take notice when you’re in a good place.
