Bullying is perhaps the most common yet dreaded aspect of being a student–whether you are getting bullied by your boyfriend, your friends, schoolmates, or any other person in your surroundings, bullying is not something that you should put up with.
If you have been the victim of bullying in any form, here is how to deal with it and heal from its devastating effects:
- Talk to someone you trust. Bullying is not a problem that you should attempt to solve on your own. It’s best to talk to someone you trust and preferably an adult in your family or an expert who knows how to deal with such situations. Just by telling your problem to someone and especially someone you trust, you will instantly feel better.
- Meditate. Meditation and mindful breathing may sound abstract but they will help you keep your calm and release any negative feelings of fear, anxiety, and shame. Ideally, adopt a comfortable meditation position and focus your attention on your deep breathing patterns or a random object.
- Avoid self-blaming. Being the target of bullying doesn’t imply by any means it’s your fault. Bullies will find any random reason to put you down and make you feel that you have a problem–so don’t stop blaming yourself. They are the ones that have the problem, not you.
- Shift your attention to things that make you happy. Everyone has things that make them feel happy and grateful. It could be spending happy times together with your loved ones, a wonderful trip, or even a random smile from a stranger. Anything that makes you smile will shift your focus from negativity to positivity.
- Honor your strengths and talents. Your bully/ies make you feel useless and weak but they may be jealous or overwhelmed by what you can do. Are you a good student that teachers love? Do you have a talent for singing, dancing, or sports? Don’t let the bullies stop you from honoring your talents and aiming high. You are a talented and unique person, don’t forget that.
- Keep a diary/record of your thoughts. Keeping a diary of your daily thoughts is a very healthy way to cope with all the negative self-talk that bullying brings. If you are seeing a therapist, it will also let them know what bothers you and suggest tactics to deal with your thoughts and their effect on your mental health.
- Learn a new hobby. You may think that you don’t have the time or mood to learn something new but that’s like. Learning something new will help boost your confidence and make you feel adept at something–even if bullying makes you feel otherwise.
- Learn to love yourself. Do not loathe yourself or feel unworthy of love just because you’ve been bullied. Sure, hearing things like “Nobody likes you” or “I hate you” are hurtful but those are some nasty ways to bring you down. You are a wonderful being that is capable of getting and giving love and that love starts from loving yourself.
- Don’t be afraid to cut toxic people off your life. There is nothing wrong with placing boundaries or getting rid of toxic people in your life. Do not let your fear of being alone prevent you from doing so. You only need to surround yourself with positive people, not energy suckers that make you feel worthless.
- Remind yourself that you are in control. Bullying may make you feel that you have no control over the situation but that’s not true. While you can’t control what others say or do to you, you can certainly control your reaction to their attacks. Don’t let them steal your power, simply summon all your strength and stand up for yourself.
- Do not fall to their level. It may be tempting to get back at your attacker/s with bullying e.g. calling them names, threatening, etc. but that is certainly wrong. It will give them the satisfaction that they got a reaction from you so don’t do them this favor. You don’t want to find evil with evil as bullying may get worse.
- Let them know how you feel. Sometimes, bullying is unintentional, especially if it comes from a close friend or a partner that doesn’t act badly most of the time. They may just not realize the damaging effect of their words or actions. If you suspect this is the case, express calmly how you feel and you’ll most likely get an apology if they hurt you unintentionally indeed.
- Report the problem. If the bullying gets out of control to the point that you are feeling depressed or suicidal, you should go ahead and report the problem to an official authority. Your school may probably have anti-bullying policies but in case they can’t help, there are various local and nationwide anti-bullying programs where you can report the problem and seek help. If you have been seriously harassed by an adult, you should report it to the police right away.
Remember that you don’t have to deal with the matter alone. Do not let your abusers get away with their spineless attacks and give them the satisfaction that they’ve had a major effect on your life. There is nothing wrong with you, it’s just them trying to bring you down to make themselves feel better. By loving yourself, honoring your gifts, and discussing the problem with someone you trust, you will eventually heal from this painful situation and come out stronger. You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else!
