Getting drunk when you are a student partying or having a wild night out is something that most of us have encountered at least once, back in the day. In fact, if you ask other people if they had an embarrassing drunk story to tell you, we bet you’ll get countless stories. The problem arises when you drunk so much you lost control and said or did inappropriate things like
- Shouting obscenities
- Saying dirty jokes in the public
- Saying hurtful words
- Laughing at others
- Taking your clothes off
- Provoking others into a fight
- Gagging, peeing, or taking a dumb in public display
And virtually any form of inappropriate behavior you can think of as a result of excessive alcohol consumption.
Unfortunately drinking alcohol in excess makes people lose control and overstep their boundaries. This is not something you can avoid if you drink too much. Alcohol messes up different parts of the brain which are responsible for controlling our words and actions–and when alcohol is too much, we let off our inhibitions and start to act inappropriately.
If this has happened to you recently, you may feel like a walking embarrassment to the point that you are thinking of missing your classes fearing that everyone will gossip and laugh about you. After you recall the incident, it is natural to feel shame for your inappropriate behavior. This is actually a healthy mechanism that prevents you from getting drunk again and avoiding embarrassment in the future.
But, while you may replay the incident repeatedly in your mind feeling ashamed, chances are, others will not remember as much as you do (unless you did something really nasty). They may have felt awkward or laughed at your misfortune at that moment but they’ll probably forget about what happened soon after.
We tend to overthink such situations as if the world revolves around us and our reputation will be stained forever. This is certainly not true. You are not the first nor the last person that embarrasses themselves after getting drunk.
So here’s how to recover from embarrassment and forgive yourself:
- Accept what happened. While you are responsible for the amount of alcohol you choose to consume, once you drink too much, there is no control over what you say or do. Accept the fact that it happened and take it as a lesson not to get drunk in the future. And if you drank so much that you can’t remember what you said or did clearly, there is no reason to wrap your head around it. Simply accept that it happened and that you had no control over what you did as a result of drinking too much. However, this doesn’t mean that you should downplay the incident or pretend that nothing happened. Yes, it did, you acted inappropriately and you should try to never do it again.
- Apologize to others you’ve possibly hurt. Let’s say you took too many drinks and started giggling and saying nasty things to others e.g “Omg look at your fat A$$” or puking on their furniture after a big home party. Once you are sober, apologize to them, expressing your shame and that this isn’t how you normally behave. If you said or did nasty things to your friends, they will understand and probably laugh it off. If, however, you’ve embarrassed yourself to other people outside your friend group, find them and genuinely apologize. Do not pretend as if nothing happened. Just accept that it happened, but make it clear to all the people you’ve hurt that it wasn’t your intention to hurt them.
- Say thanks to people that helped you out. Did anyone carry you once you fell on the ground or drove you safely back home? Did they escort you to the toilet? Thank them for what they did and that you really appreciate their help (even if you told them nasty things when you were drunk). They had no obligation to help you out but they did and their help may have saved you from second-degree embarrassment. By showing your gratitude, they will feel better for helping you in the future if the same thing happens again–just make sure it doesn’t happen anytime soon as nobody has the duty to help you. They just sympathized with you and chose to help.
- Seek expert help if this happens often. Beating yourself for 1-2 embarrassing drunk incidents and seeking help is not necessary or productive. However, if this has happened multiple times in a year, it means you have a problem with alcohol. Substance abuse is a major problem with detrimental effects on mental and physical health. And if you are addicted already from a young age, you will suffer greatly when you grow older. Do not put it up for later, seek professional help. You may contact a free youth helpline expressing your problem with alcohol, talk to a therapist, or join a peer community where you support each other on your journey to recovery. There are also special rehab centers for young people across the nation if your addiction doesn’t seem to wane off through regular means. Understand what fuels your addiction and seek expert help. Do not be embarrassed–you won’t be able to easily recover on your own. By seeking expert help, you will get the support you need to recover and save yourself from embarrassment again in the near future.
Bottomline, unless you did something really awful once you were drunk, you should not torture yourself again and again with shame. Forgive yourself, apologize to anyone you may have hurt, and move on. See it as a hard lesson you’ve learned and avoid getting drunk in the future.
