Benefits of Not Having Friends

By Alyssa Schmid

You’ve possibly heard that “friends are important” too many times to count. Everyone pushes this narrative onto us with well-meaning intentions but for some reason it always falls flat. Maybe it’s because there are several reasons why friends just aren’t worth the effort. Friendship can be messy and difficult to prioritize in the fast-paced, individualistic society of the western-world. So here are five benefits to not having friends to push against the pressure. 

No Fake Friends

Fake friends are simply the worst. They steal your time, money, and self-esteem. You constantly have to pretend to be someone you aren’t to impress someone you don’t even like spending time with! What is the point of putting in all this effort just to come home more exhausted and depressed than you were before? In the end, these types of relationships come with far more negatives than they do benefits.  

The Schedule You Want 

This will especially hit home if you’re an introvert because there is nothing worse than knowing that you’ll have to spend the whole evening doing plans you hate. It is so much easier to say that the plans “sound amazing” then to tell them you’d rather lick a toad. When you don’t have friends you don’t have to worry about that tension. Plus it is so expensive to hang out with people. Everyone agrees to go to that subpar sports bar and order subpar appetizers that for some reason are always split evenly no matter what you got. No thanks.  

Prioritize the Life You Want

Having your life intertwined with other people always means compromise in some form. Why wait around for friends to foster your dream life? If your dream life means scuba diving or spending your weekends at art museums, don’t keep prioritizing what the group chat wants to do. This is especially true if none of your friends are interested in your ideal life. Life is too short to keep puttering around the same town with the same people you’ve known since high school. Not having friends means you can pick up and leave for a dream job or travel opportunity. 

Peace and Quiet 

If you have ever experienced an incessant group chat, you understand the desire for peace and quiet. It can feel so overwhelming to hear your phone vibrating every time you’ve settled into an important task or favorite hobby. 99% of the time it’s a message that’s not even remotely directed towards you anyway. So embrace the peace and quiet without the chatter of voices that don’t connect to your true ethos. 

A Strong Sense of Identity 

Knowing your identity is something you must do with yourself by yourself. Friends can confuse how you interpret your feelings even with the best intentions of helping. Not having friends means that you will be more in tune with your motives and morals. Take advantage of all the other benefits of not having friends to connect with yourself on a deep level. 

When you have the time, flexibility, emotional energy, and space to engage in self-discovery, you will be so happy you invested in the most important relationship you have – with yourself. 

About the Author

Alyssa Schmid is a freelance writer working on finishing a double degree in horticulture and sustainability at Oregon State University. She deeply loves traveling, baking, gardening, and researching sustainable fashion brands.

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